but i still have to do it,
cuz i will be paying off this shit
until i die for real.
i put the can in cancer...
work is a nightmare
but i still have to do it,
cuz i will be paying off this shit
until i die for real.
but i still have to do it,
cuz i will be paying off this shit
until i die for real.
Asking What's For Dinner At Breakfast
Diverted my stride
while navigating a Cliff Bar
with my mouth, no hands,
because I didn't have time
for breakfast before
bolting for Port Authority
to get the hell outta here
for a spell or more.
Saw someone that looked
like her, but with red hair,
while The Stone Roses
were singing in my ear
about sea lemons and such,
as if I needed a reminder.
I am never present,
and everyone outcome
is a come down,
but what's the difference
between Mexican food
and Cuban food?
Lord have mercy
on my rough and rowdy days,
how stupid of me
to forget how far I've come
just because I still have
far to go.
Teeth in Heart
Ethan Hawke's daughter wears a Smith College shirt
in the final episode of Stranger Things.
Early one morning the sun was shining
I was laying in bed,
I was laying in bed,
listening to Bob Dylan,
wondering if she notices these little reminders.
wondering if she notices these little reminders.
opening up a book of italian poems,
all the while the past is always close behind.
I’m still here counting the quiet like it answers anything at all.
There’s a train rolling somewhere past the treeline,
it don’t stop here no more.
The screen door’s humming like a nervous witness,
dust dancing on the floor.
I got a coffee going cold on the nightstand,
got your name caught in my throat,
like a harmonica bent out of key
on a long and lonesome note.
They say time is a clean white highway,
but mine’s full of side roads and sparks.
Every sign points straight to the future,
but the rearview’s lit up in the dark.
You left your poems on the rumbler,
like evidence I can’t ignore.
Teeth in heart, babe, teeth in heart,
and I’m bleeding metaphors.
The radio’s preaching redemption,
the preacher’s asking for cash,
I’m thumbing through saints and strangers
in a paperback smelling like ash.
If love’s just a ghost in the circuitry,
flickering blue in the night,
why does it bite like a memory
and glow like a dashboard light?
bad half dollar
I hate money.
and I hate that my health costs so much of it.
from scopes up my butt to gnarly surgeries.
I will be paying to live.
until I die.
I don't know no snakes
I imagine Hashem saying,
I will make it up to you.
I will give you three wishes.
Let me have all the days
I will make it up to you.
I will give you three wishes.
Let me have all the days
with my daughter
Let me stand at the kitchen sink,
Let me stand at the kitchen sink,
eating cookies, and watching
the squirrels out the window.
Let my backyard
be filled with little creatures.
That's it. I am simple.
Devils, you are not a fool, I am!
I thoroughly enjoyed
talking to her on the phone,
while waiting for my car
to be "fixed."
It was a solid hour
of poetry and boners,
wondering whether black people
binge watch Yellowstone.
But this is what happens...
We chat, I fall in love,
then she goes and dates some dude
that looks like a douche bag on IG.
Hummingbirds, like God, need to be wild
The ocean has so many moods,
and so does the sky.
Humans are such a small part
of the bigger consciousness
of the natural world.
We tend to see only ourselves
and our own concerns,
but there is so much more going on.
Right after the funeral,
a hummingbird kept buzzing by.
My friend laughed and said, “Maybe it's Ross!”
I even wrote her a big poem
about a hummingbird falling in love with her.
in the calm light of mild philosophy
using reason to temper my impulses.
and especially emotions.
got a flat tire this morning.
which put my impressions to the test.
and especially emotions.
got a flat tire this morning.
which put my impressions to the test.
our life is what our thoughts make it.
from the bustle to the busts.
I shall view the busy world.
as free from the intrigues of villains.
My fake friends channel Montreal cool and post-punk edge while listening to an LP
The world is crowded,
friends drift in and out of the vocal stacks,
lifting the choruses without turning life into a guest parade,
people who’ve shared bills, basements, cheap beers,
and bad shifts adding their voices
because they were there and it made sense.
It is nostalgic without looking backward,
modern without chasing trends,
a vibe that hits with confidence
earned through years of loud rooms
and coming out the other side sharper than when I went in.
modern without chasing trends,
a vibe that hits with confidence
earned through years of loud rooms
and coming out the other side sharper than when I went in.
It feels like standing outside a venue
in the dead of winter, steam rising off your jacket,
friends yelling your name across the street,
and the city humming under your feet.
The quick, unsentimental reflexes of a survivalist or the mien of a thug?
I have seemed to float on an unquiet sea,
borne along a dark tide of alcoholism
and violence, abuse and shame.
I’ve inherited things I wish not
to pass along to my daughter,
as daunting as it is to suppress
or better yet heal from the fissures.
I cannot keep pretending that the years of my youth
have not long affected me in heart, soul and spirit.
It broke my heart, it broke my body later on,
It changed my perspective and made everyday hungry
I’ve inherited things I wish not
to pass along to my daughter,
as daunting as it is to suppress
or better yet heal from the fissures.
I cannot keep pretending that the years of my youth
have not long affected me in heart, soul and spirit.
It broke my heart, it broke my body later on,
It changed my perspective and made everyday hungry
and hard as coffin nails.
With the heart of a wayward poet
the comedy of a existentialist,
the philosophy of a prisoner,
and the happiness of a doting dad
I persist in passion and sacrifice.
With the heart of a wayward poet
the comedy of a existentialist,
the philosophy of a prisoner,
and the happiness of a doting dad
I persist in passion and sacrifice.
RIP JVDB
I tried to incorporate big words
due to Dawson's Creek.
His character liked movies,
like me.
He died from the same cancer
as me.
I try to make myself
the hero of these poems.
But I am either the villain
or the victim.
Fatal Follies of a Former Scumbag
She taps her High Life
with her navy blue nails
along to a Broken Social Scene
song on the outdated juke.
Hours ago, she blew me
in the bathroom of a bookstore,
as if it were any other
night in Brooklyn.
Ten years prior,
I would've pulled an irish exit,
but now I have too much respect
for the wicked.
I make the same mistakes,
but don't have the excuse of booze,
so I just fall in love for the night,
and write her a poem in the morning.
Dead Hope
Meet me at Los Amigos
in Burbank
for an afternoon taco lunch
under the Warner Bros.
water tower...
For a long time,
I was good
at getting lost,
and now
I just want
to be found.
I'll take La Cienega
all the way from LAX,
just to except your fate,
they mistake.
Innerstanding
Do you see the scorpions
in the shadows?
It never occurred to me
that giraffes have nowhere
to go during a storm.
Do jellyfish burp?
Life is beautiful,
because it is instinctually brief.
What the hell am I?
I am just an animal
eating Ruffles in bed.
Sonder
The fog laps at the lawn,
Like a sea of dreams.
A mourning dog barks
In the indifferent distance.
An afternoon of lonesomeness
Just hits harder than dawn.
As the day is laid out
To a sovereign idiot such as myself.
I’m only winning
Be a hare’s breath.
My brown eyes
Betray these animalistic inquiries.
I may be stoned but Led Zeppelin's "Ramble On" has a sick bassline!
I am the exception,
and the inception.
I'd date ya,
and attach myself to your fate
if it weren't for my own.
Cancer really messes
with one's dating life.
Let's listen together
to Led Zeppelin
and Thin Lizzy.
The future is fucked
so let's skip the bullshit and just fall in love.
Another Silly Sunrise
Just dragged the trash can
through the snow to the curb.
lol.
I made a hockey bet
on the New Jersey Devils;
they lost and I yelled
Devils to myself.
lol.
Went to Arby's
and they now have
a small peach cobbler desert,
which was Troy Foyil's fave.
lol.
small mercies like these
are the best, because
when you count them,
they outnumber the depressing days.
lol.
these little victories,
like Arby's
and another silly sunrise
add up.
Just a cute little slice of my night...
"Last Caress" by Misfits comes on.
I turn it up, along with the heat.
It is cold in South Florida.
And I am waiting for my daughter
to get out of a pool party.
I forgot my beanie.
My bald head is what is making me cold.
And lack of white blood cells.
I hope my daughter brings me a slice of cake.
A bunny hops in the dark front yard.
My daughter and her friends climb into the backseat.
I turn down the Misfits.
"Dad, can we drive Izzy and Jemma home?"
"Of course. Hey, y’all!"
Jemma asks if we can go to Chipotle.
No.
LOL.
They giggle the whole ride.
About Molly starting drama.
And boys being annoying.
We drop Jemma off.
Making sure she gets inside ok.
We drop Izzy off.
Making sure she gets inside ok.
My daughter fills me in.
on the rest of hot gossip.
which is just silly, adorable.
middle school girl stuff.
I ask her if she swam.
She says the pool was too cold.
I ask her if she ate.
They had Domino's.
She didn't bring me any cake.
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