idk, kj, hahaha

And one day we will be, too.”

Homesick Roadtrip

Just one more tear to cryOne teardrop from my eyeYou better save it forThe middle of the nightWhen things aren't black and whiteEnter, TroubadourRemember twenty-four?
And when I'm back in New York, I feel itAnother version of me, I was in itI wave goodbye to the end of beginning
This poem has started nowAnd you're just finding outNow isn't that a laugh?A major sacrificeBut clueless at the dreamEnter, Kendra JeanJust trust me, you'll be fine
And when I'm back in New York, I feel itAnother version of me, I was in itI wave goodbye to the end of beginning(Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye)
You take the man out of the city, not the city out the manYou take the man out of the city, not the city out the manYou take the man out of the city, not the city out the manYou take the man out of the
And when I'm back in New York, I feel itAnother version of me, I was in itOh, I wave goodbye to the end of beginning(Goodbye, goodbye)

Dear Die-ary

Today I had a lovely little afternoon nap
on a crackhead bench in Union Square
as petrichor practice for when I die,
and someone scatters my ashes there. 


11 years ago, 
The Way Way Back was released 
in theaters on July 5, 2013.

It starred Liam James, Steve Carell, 
Toni Collette, Allison Janney, Sam Rockwell, 
Maya Rudolph, Rob Corddry, Amanda Peet.

It’s written and directed 
by Nat Faxon and Jim Rash,
who also acted in the flick. 

We saw it in Union Square,
you wanted to see some foreign film
but I suggested something lighter. 

This is the only movie 
we saw together
but you don't remember.

Like the film,
nostalgia is a cocktail
of happiness and sadness. 

Cigars & Root Beer

From podcasting to poetry,
I am shucking and jiving
along this great green summer,
but the biggest challenge
is finding making time 
to sit down, shut up, and relax. 

Portrait of an Anxious Artist at a Red Light, Blasting "Cannonball" by The Breeders

I think the film The Lost Boys is overrated
and I wonder if I should be
listening to music in the shower,
or reading in the shower?!

I question whether that last stanza
should end with a question mark,
but I don't think so,
hence the interrobang. 

I tried to call her using *67,
but forgot about time zones,
and remembered
she hates me. 

Wrote a poem about her instead,
posted it publicity
and used Google Analytics 
to make sure she saw it. 

Oh devils, I wonder
what her mom would think
of all the poems I wrote about her,
retroactively seeking.

Kim Deal used to be in Pixies
and then left, 
but then rejoined Frank Black,
but they will always be college for me. 

And then the song ends,
and the light turns green,
and I continue living my life
in the back of an Uber. 

all the emperors, all the buffalo

Something like 117 billion human beings 
have ever lived, and most are now dead.

And ALL the people alive today will join them. 
Oh, what has come and gone, eon after eon.

This is life, this is what history 
and the passage of time does and always will.

there is also something beautiful, 
even reassuring about this. 

The earth is mostly just a boneyard,
But pretty in sunlight.

The Power of Positive Pine Needles

tell me there isn't a part of you
that wonders why I am so happy,
do you wonder if I am goofin' with a smile,
boppin' around life with less ish...

let me tell you,
it takes a lot of awareness
and work,
like getting kicked in the dick
by life 
but being able to learn from it
and laugh about it

tell me there isn't a part of you
that's curious about 
my work ethic,
my jovial je ne sais quoi,
and that unknown number.

better late than never
to the laissez-faire life
of letting things happen
what will be,
eh, we'll see. 

Political Poem

This is not a time to be dismayed.
This is punk rock time. 
This is what Joe Strummer trained you for. 

It's time to be a good person.
That means more now than ever. 
This is go-time!

The difference between lasers and light

A laser generates a beam of very intense light. 

The major difference between laser light 
and light generated by white light sources (such as a light bulb) 
is that laser light is monochromatic, directional and coherent. 

Monochromatic means that all of the light 
produced by the laser is of a single wavelength.

This is a lot like love in that 
we have different types of love focused on
different people in our lives.

Some are feeling lasers.
Some are feeling light.


I saw you
and you saw me. 

I was wearing camo pants,
you were wearing a camo top. 

You were with a boy,
I was laughing with gals from work. 

You unblocked your blog after
and communicated for a spell. 

You were studying to be a doula,
all but given up on writing.

I wish I would have looked at you longer;
maybe it wasn't a dream. 

I wrote this poem sweating in my sleep,
and tried to get back to the nightmare just to see you. 

I wake up on July 4th 
and wonder if you had the same dream in Kentucky.

Messin' Around on Meserole

Looking up at Hashem
thanking them
for good problems.

The dreaded summer 
G train shutdown started,
and Franco farted.

Cardboard Bill is here
with his chick
who called his dick Circumstance.

Toxic relationships are a dime a dozen,
especially where I come from,
but I am so done with the drama. 

I think my new favorite color
is olive green,
and maybe navy was a lie all along.

With the Bible in his throat,
Marty passes me the spliff,
and I just roll with it. 

I tried playing dead, 
but it backfired,
so I played along instead.

The party continues
and I am straight goofin'
because I have no time for the blues. 

We will head down to Willytowne
and get down with the young crowd,
until I leave with nothing but gratitude up my sleeve.


bouncing one of the Four Brahma-viharas
on the basketball court with Kirk.

mornings considered the sublime 
or divine abodes of my time. 

finding simple solidarity is invaluable, 
more than a million three-pointers in a row in the rain. 

the world needs more moments 
shared between creative people.

less influencers, less Kardashians,
but you can never have too many artists. 


I go insane everday
so I can maintain...

cuz you got up at 4:45am to do 200 sad dad sit-ups 
in a sweltering Florida garage
and then drank celery juice 
cuz someone on IG said it is good for you.

cuz you have a hard rule that you never say no 
when your daughter asks you to play Barbies 
or put on a living room production of Chicago.

cuz in addition to your day job 
you are writing a screenplay, a kids book
on top of the twelve books of poetry you have "in the works,"
while also producing a weekly podcast.

cuz you flew to NYC
just cuz you miss it and can't be away from it
for too long or you lose a piece of your dumb heart.

cuz you stayed up late laughing 
at a new standup special
cuz life is for living,
cuz one day you're gonna die.

...I am a dancer 
I can't dance.

If you could time travel...

what would you wear?
what would you eat?
where would you sleep?
who would you keep?

Oi Ennéa Moúes

In ancient Greek religion and mythology,
the Muses are the inspirational goddesses 
of literature, science, and the arts.

The daughters of Zeus and Mnemosyne, 
the Muses were considered the source of the knowledge 
embodied in the poetry, song, and myths 
that were narrated orally for centuries in Greek culture.

From Calliope’s epic tales of heroes, 
to Clio’s histories, the past retold, 
Euterpe’s melodies that haunt the air, 
and Erato’s love songs, sweet and lowdown.

Thalia’s laughter fills the stage, 
while Melpomene mourns with tragic rage, 
Terpsichore’s dance, a graceful sweep, 
and Polyhymnia’s hymns, solemn and deep.

In ancient myths and seamless dreams, 
the Muses' whisper, 
a something similar to forever. 

Welder Wings

The miracle of life, of existing in this one way train of life. Where you just grow through time. The miracle of change and time. I was all of these different people. My very identity is this ever-changing thing and I’m constantly learning and in awe of life and over time it keeps on developing but no matter where you are at the time, like in the song, “Oh, when I turn twenty-seven then I’ll have it all figured out,’ but of course you never do.

Hi from the Stoop

sittin' in shorts.
for some reason shorts really haunt me.
“So dorky” I say. "And they don't keep you THAT much cooler."
Pretty funny. Neurosis you can appreciate.

I am finally back on the mindfulness train.
Everyday at 5am my alarm goes off
and it says “meditate, you pussy!”.
I don’t like the word meditation
because I think people often flaunt it
to sound “above” or “more realized” than their peers.

Mindfulness is maybe the better term;
still not the best.

Sitting and breathing in big;
it sounds so dumb every time I hear it,
but I’m two years in and it’s made a massive positive change in my life.
Maybe I’m just looking for one cure-all to anxiety,
but it’s a real tool that’s worked better than any substance so far.

The first days of mindfulness kinda stink.
You’re sitting there trying to think about nothing
but your inner monologue just goes
“wow this is some dumb hippie bullshit that’ll never work”.
But, after day like month 3 you start to look forward to it.
It gets easier. I feel it brings at least 50% more control to my life so far.
Haven’t had any absurd racing thoughts since I started.
Those tranquil 5-10 mins per day gives me clarity
as to how trivial the mental spirals are.

If you wanna try it, just tell yourself
“I’ll sit like an idiot and breathe deep for two minutes”
until it feels less and less like a waste of time.
You don’t have to be good at meditation or mindfulness,
but just trying to upgrade your brain is a good thing.

On the stoop now,
writing comedy sketches with Eric,
which are starting to get more demented
to the point where we maybe should dial it back…
But they’re just too much fun to make.

This one is about Sean “bad man” Anderson and Mr. Bicep
becoming a fearless character actor willing to bust thru
all political correctness to make the internet an even more profoundly weirder, 
better place.
God Bless.

My hands are reversed! This episode of Bothering the Band with Tokyo Police Club was such a bucket list honour!

The Saturday Song of Lapsang Souchong

The smell of burnt wood and camphor
wafts through the whole room,
the sound of Breukelen outside
brings bustling and music, beeps and beats...
I just signed up for more chaos.

Doodling on a napkin for no good reason
other than I am waiting for the tea
as it is steeping and I am trying to be present,
not on my phone in little moments which add up.

Noodling in life, because Vonnegut was right,
we are here to fart around;
while Drag has those sexy collarbones,
I hurt my Tensor Fasciae Latae,
so I just drink my tea in front of me,
take life as it comes, turn it into inspiration.

Carpe Diem-ing while I can,
cuz the flip side to the fear of failure
is Success—in all things, in whatever we do—
still comes from that same acquiesce, 
from the joyous acceptance of what’s in front of us, 
even suffering and difficulty (or tea).


Passion Pit weather.
Matt and Kim weather.

...the sun was made for 2010s indie pop.

We all wanted summer.
And now it is a hundred and fuck degrees.

...Be careful what the proverbial we wishes for.

I sweat with the best of them.
Get nostalgic with the worst of them.

...chasing that forgotten first love face.

The petrichor comes.
Washes it away without rain.