Paila

In Colombian slang, "paila" means that a situation is bad, there's trouble...

Got a call from my oncologist today,
the CAT scan showed spots on my liver.

It could be nothing.
It could be something.
It could be cancer.

I am more scared 
than last time,
but why?

After learning this,
I had to jump on a work call,
because, ya know, life continues,
doldrums and all. 

On said work call,
Monica, who is a designer in Colombia
told us about this slang word, Paila,
and it just fit my feels.

So now,
on this morose Thursday morning,
I am just listening to sad music,
and repeating that word in my brain.

I know I should be positive,
tell myself it is nothing,
but I just want to close 
this cancer chapter.

I am not ready to die,
but more so,
I do not want my daughter
to have to feel the pain
of a dead dad. 

That is Paila.