in this big bad world,
I wanna be small with you.
just under blankets
with justice and love.
lost in eyes and weekends,
where we look forward to nada.
your freckled nose
is on mine,
while I am playing
the only song I know
on the guitar and harmonica.
in the grand scheme of things
our heart beats are little things,
just think about it
and think about being small with me
on a Monday painted ours.
don't know where I'm going,
but I know I want to make my journey
back to you somehow in the sound studio
where we can record loud lips
inside rain and outside everything,
supporting actors we be until.
1. Heat Wave by Snail Mail
2. Yonder Blue by Tortoise
3. Perfectly Wasted by Matt Mays
4. Asido by Purity Ring
5. Cause = Time by Broken Social Scene
6. California Numb by Cloves
7. Reflections on the Screen by Superorganism
8. Tinseltown Swimming in Blood by Destroyer
My finger nails are long and dirty, but I won’t bite them tonight.
I’ve taken many stupid breaths in my life and I took a few more on this dark night in Downtown Los Angeles.
I high five the drags, buy coke from one, curse gentrification with the Mexicanos, who have to deal with the white privileged trash being ushered out of the Ace Hotel at last call.
Walking around with risk in my belly and cocaine in my nose, I consider a red eye to New York and even more surprising, I contemplate a morning flight back to Boca to try to sweep an L off her feet.
What’s possible in these quiet moments is loud as shit, in brains and beating hearts all too stupid or scared to take a chance. I am so afraid that I am not afraid; the fear becoming natural like breathing or blinking, so ingrained that I barely feel it until I am alone waiting for an Uber.
What’s possible on Hollywood Blvd is different than what’s possible on Broadway, but the hope is the same, and I hope to find it because I’ll look anywhere.
Even an empty street at 4am in Downtown Los Angeles. where I walk with greater ghosts, all trying to get back to life and wake up where they’re meant to be.
Woke up on a boat in Marina Del Ray to the sounds of seals and seagulls and the rolling, rippling of water.
The tarp overhead did the trick and kept the dew at bay, the gentle sway of the boat did the trick, because I haven't slept this good since 1996. Talk about a water bed, I was floating in slumber and waking up to the sounds of the mighty Pacific.
I dreamed exquisite dreams last eve, a veritable opera of past and future. I dreamed of a Kentucky girl in New York. I dreamed of a beautiful young thing in Florida that makes my heart curious. I dreamed of all the stunning California gals I had seen my first day here.
Chilled in both directions, I opened my eyes to something I haven’t seen in a long time: Possibly with a splash of chance.
Is this my new life? I don’t know, But it sure is a Good way To wake up on a Thursday.