Cancer makes you selfish,
no matter who is
by your side
or in your support circle.
The body is a loud country.
It demands your full attention.
I used to be selfish
for all the wrong reasons.
I wanted more.
More praise.
More love.
More of the room.
Then I changed.
Or at least
I thought I had.
Now I know
pain is its own gravity.
It pulls every thought
back toward the body.
I am never more present
than when I am in pain.
The breath.
The heartbeat.
The ache beneath my ribs.
The weight of my own name.
Nothing is theoretical anymore.
Not love.
Not fear.
Not this morning's sunlight
finding its way across the floor.
Cancer did not make me
a better person.
It made me remember
that every moment of comfort
is a miracle so ordinary
we almost always forget
to call it one.