becoming a real adult is in the tick ditch of existence,
the punctum that Roland Barthes talks about in Camera Lucida
is so often absent in life now,
but Every sign I could see,
all the details about how the future landscape smelled,
all that sort of stuff was a big bold fib,
because growing up means
making peace with the past
and pretending to accept the future
even though none of us know
what the fuck is going to happen, Carlos!"