that when I even think
of putting myself out there,
I am met by the world
with such force
that I just retreat deeper.
as my smile fades with summer,
a new headache takes its place,
purple and oval, using fear
to find selfish confidence
among the t-shirt sheets
and the forgotten details
of my previous spring
where love was a thing.
the blueberry winter is a thing of the past
and now the summer laughs at me,
its green teeth showing through humidity,
but before you know it
the pecan-scented song of autumn
will be bundling up for back-to-school shopping.