Where did you get that penchant for destruction in the way you talk?

I am reminded
of the size of your hands
and that I didn't stand a chance...

it was 2012
and I needed to be reminded
to stay alive.

you understandably couldn't be bothered
to say hello or goodbye.

then yesterday 

the gods of the algorithm
handed me a salsa podcast you were on.

your laugh like a radio flare, 

your fidgeting words folding into percussion,
taunting me adorably.

so I went west
to die
for the ninth time.

the silence kills me slow
while life kills me fast.