ya gotta crawl before you can perform open heart surgery

In the doldrums of summer, 
I often feel like a bug trapped in amber 
trying to claw my way towards a life worthy 
of the grandiose expectations that the season carries. 

The closest I’ve gotten 
to finding a sense of direction 
during these hot, neverending days 
has been the Zen musings of self-misandry
with a Sabrina Carpenter soundtrack.

Axes have said I'm the
"funniest person they've evet met"
and exes have chopped my fucking heart in half,
but I have tons of super glue for the soul...

Accepting pain and discomfort 
as inexplicably tied to joy, 
is about seeing the ordinary as sublime, 
all about recognizing that any one moment 
in your life is as significant as another.

No one is coming to save me from my own ennui, 
but I can always take one small step—
putting on my headphones and playing my favorite song—
and make it my whole vibe.