How does one arrive at nihilism?

It can’t be the origin point 
of a belief system.
Surely there was light along the way. 

Was it hope dashed, 
snubbed out like a cigarette on the sole of a boot, 
that caused the black veil of ennui to lower? 

Or could it be that societal abnegation 
is a direct cause of the world’s gone rotten
and you along with it.

But instead of offering resistance or condolence, 
like Anne Sexton wrote a children’s book,
it gives you a wedgie.

After all the buildup, 
after all the flowers and ugliness, 
nothing really matters anyway.

Or does it?
Maybe everything matters.
I hate being right.