Hi from the Stoop

sittin' in shorts.
for some reason shorts really haunt me.
“So dorky” I say. "And they don't keep you THAT much cooler."
Pretty funny. Neurosis you can appreciate.

I am finally back on the mindfulness train.
Everyday at 5am my alarm goes off
and it says “meditate, you pussy!”.
I don’t like the word meditation
because I think people often flaunt it
to sound “above” or “more realized” than their peers.

Mindfulness is maybe the better term;
still not the best.

Sitting and breathing in big;
it sounds so dumb every time I hear it,
but I’m two years in and it’s made a massive positive change in my life.
Maybe I’m just looking for one cure-all to anxiety,
but it’s a real tool that’s worked better than any substance so far.

The first days of mindfulness kinda stink.
You’re sitting there trying to think about nothing
but your inner monologue just goes
“wow this is some dumb hippie bullshit that’ll never work”.
But, after day like month 3 you start to look forward to it.
It gets easier. I feel it brings at least 50% more control to my life so far.
Haven’t had any absurd racing thoughts since I started.
Those tranquil 5-10 mins per day gives me clarity
as to how trivial the mental spirals are.

If you wanna try it, just tell yourself
“I’ll sit like an idiot and breathe deep for two minutes”
until it feels less and less like a waste of time.
You don’t have to be good at meditation or mindfulness,
but just trying to upgrade your brain is a good thing.

On the stoop now,
writing comedy sketches with Eric,
which are starting to get more demented
to the point where we maybe should dial it back…
But they’re just too much fun to make.

This one is about Sean “bad man” Anderson and Mr. Bicep
becoming a fearless character actor willing to bust thru
all political correctness to make the internet an even more profoundly weirder, 
better place.
God Bless.