What Am I To The Undertaker?

I will be a different person tonight
than I am this morning.

So death can’t judge me,
even minute to moment.

Who am I to myself
other than jealous of birds?

Because they get to touch the sky,
and never have to ask why.

I wish I were an idiot,
indifferent to death.

I wish I were the grim reaper,
herself defiant to life.

This morning I was a hammer,
tonight I am at least a sickle.