That self-awareness comes from the knowledge that,
as an Orlando-Florida-born-NYC-living-and-loving poet
with a penchant for comedy, a love of mundanity,
and a big-picture outlook on the world’s most vexing issues,
I would have an uphill battle to do the kind of creative stuff
I wanted to do, especially in this current chaos called life.
I wanted to do, especially in this current chaos called life.
I hid in bars because I didn't have the confidence to hide in offices.
That fear held me back for a very long time,
until someone took a chance on me and my writing
holding my hand to walk me over the threshold
with reassurance that this is what I am meant to be doing,
aware that my body will someday just be a pile of ashes.
I am glad that I found my confidence and fear of death.
Sleeping in a Phoebe Bridgers shirt,
reading about Caroline Knapp's true love,
I now know that hiding is not hiding, and seeking is not seeking,
because cool is a state of mind,
and I feel like I am committing a robbery,
getting away with it without worry of being caught.