a few more

just outside the backdoor,
with a Marlboro hat,
and a match covering my face,
the sun ends the day,
and love ends me, again. 

I leave this criminal place
for some other Saturday night
where nurses hide 
in the age of unease.

if only my mother
could see me exiting now,
an unlikely selfish hero,
asking for a few more years
in finding or fear.