with more pain,
and now I find myself
crying at Simpsons episodes,
which never used to happen.
One second I am writing comedy,
and the next I am writing poetry,
because it is important
to diversify my ego,
especially because my ego
is not my amigo.
I am embrace the depression
which embraces the anxiety,
because it is a cocktail
that creates inspiration
which in turn makes creation.
There is so much I wanted
out of life and love,
so I just have to use the denial
as existential purpose,
call it fate or kismet,
and keep going, hoping
the universe figures it out for me.
A twisty admixture of euphoria and demise,
maybe this is the start of a mid-life crisis –
I'd love to have 39 more of these things called years –
and I will just have to roll with the punches,
accept the weird tears and funny times,
move on, be strong, diversify my ego,
so these things don't hurt as hard as hammers.