affected by desperation in a closer way than the rest of us

when the river of communication runs dry,
I pace in panic and wonder why.

having driven those last-year memories
from out of my mind,
only the peripheral is visible from this blind.

and I am left wondering
where times goes when it leaves us behind?

I am in front of 40 still
and still trying to figure it all out,
like a scared teen on the eve of fitting in...