Mean Time

I wonder if I will ever see her again. 
if so, she'll recite her hesitations. 
I'll put my coyote tail between my legs.
when I should be just as furious.

I will tell her what's been on my mind.
Every single morning, every single night. 
I had her heart for an honest moment. 
And I wonder if it is nothing now. 

Maybe it was nothing all along. 
Infatuation blown out of proportion. 
Because we never had each other.
We thought it was love when it was only desire.

She's just a girl, desperate for love.
I wonder if I even mattered.
Possibly not, possibly just a rung in the ladder. 
It was bad while it lasted.