with you in it,
name and face,
made me feel sad,
longing for the past,
but also knowing
the past was bullshit
and we built it all up,
but it was nothing,
so even this memory
is wrong or warped,
yet I want to remember
and write down
the little idiosyncratic
moments that we shared,
paraphrasing them
in books that will live
much longer than us.