surviving the memory of you

I keep thinking there is a piano nearby,
and it is playing my favorite song;
can you remember what that is?
It's "A Change Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke. 

But I got the goodbye blue Monday blues,
on more of a Hank Williams Tuesday,
because I never heard from her,
and I am about to travel a ton,
and travel makes me existentially anxious,
especially during a pandemic,
and now that I am a father it feels like betrayal,
but I have to work and proverbially provide. 

it's a new decade,
and I need to start anew after you
destroyed me again,
when I knew and tried to not let it happen,
but I am a dumb-dumb and love is sometimes evil. 

when I cross that red bridge,
I may jump into the icy water
just to wash away 2020 like lice,
and then pray to Hashem that I forget,
even just for a little while. 

what do we do with time?
survive the memory of our pasts
is the only option.