Pert Near

pert near put my truck in the ditch today,
and damn if Denny the neighbor didn't drive by
at the right time, just laughing his ass off
and not offering to help one bit.

then when I righted myself and made it
to the store, Abigail asks if I was drunk
and I immediately know Denny was there
buying bait and blabbing his damn mouth.

pert near ran over a rabbit on the way back,
and swerved to see Denny in his front yard
laughing his ass off at me and he is the last person
I want running his tongue around town about my driving.

so's I go over there and offer him a beer,
then we gets to arm wrestling and I break his spirit
over a picnic table while his little cousin laughs
and pets a dead frog in his front overalls pocket.