you say you are hear
but you live in the 9:02pm
of a night, never to free,
not here, in this sweater
or in this small cry.
trying to do my best,
but can't remember how,
because I probably
did a bunch of coke
and took unknown pills
then disappeared.
and the birds
bitched my up,
and I have no excuse,
and is that alright with you?
we don't choose
how we shoot ourselves
in the foot on the subway
under names mumbled,
while giving our gones away.