Oh Well

I never chew gum,
aside from spitting out game today,
trying to make it down the sewer,
missed, but I will step in it in the morning.

go to the Record Rack,
just lick before
and look for old comedy albums or ska albums,
nada.

Take a shit,
set my hat on fire,
listen to R.E.M.
and remember.

That during every shit and shower
I have ever had or taken in my sala
adolescence or youth or adult life,
I have been thinking about girls.

Probably pining over them,
like elusive salad dressing,
dipped in kisses
in Times Square.

I top the night off
by drinking a beer,
while holding a fork
and stabbing myself in the eye.

A woman doesn't need
a poet.
A woman doesn't need
a lion.

A woman will always tell you
to the end
that she needs and wants
the former, otherwise.