I am not my past.
I am my actions henceforth.
I want to enjoy this middle
and be of service,
not just on the surface.
Three months of 2026
was only 16 days,
earrings and all.
Since the stars
won't wait for the well,
neither will I.
What the Night Understood
I feel the early evening breeze
on my bald head,
as I take the garbage out.
Tomorrow's gonna be chilly,
and I have chemo,
so better rock a hoodie.
The sunsets in South Florida,
best seen in Publix parking lots,
are as magical as a daily Monet.
From my stubborn street,
I can see the Everglades on fire,
and beyond forever.
I am a meta martyr,
writing poetry on a fake moon Friday,
like something out of a Springsteen song.
Complete with blue collar doldrums,
and the dichotomy of nostalgia,
my daughter still holds my hand in parking lots.
The Astronomy of Almost or How Constellations Miss
Love hurts
because it tells you the one thing
no one wants to hear:
sometimes the right person
shows up
before the right version of you.
It feels like failure.
It isn’t.
It’s timing.
Two people becoming themselves
at different speeds.
She is learning to believe in the weight of her own soul.
He is trying to stay loyal to a dream
the world keeps asking him to retire.
For a moment,
they make each other braver.
The city shifts.
Subways feel navigable.
A park bench whispers
go ahead, float awhile.
And it almost works.
But growth asks for distance.
And love isn’t just who you choose
it’s who you’re willing to become.
They don’t end because they failed.
They end because they changed.
Years later, in the poetry aisle,
one look explains everything.
In another life, they stay.
In this one, they become.
That isn’t tragedy.
That’s adulthood.
The quiet ache of knowing
some people save you
by not staying.
Grateful & Looking Forward
I am just an idiot
with hangnails,
sipping tea
after a long day
of writing wayward poetry
about the man I was
the person I want to be,
coercing myself
to be present
despite the past,
and in spite of
the future,
haggling with my health
to hold out
another 40 years
so I can experience it all,
the fog and the fears—
for good or ill—
I should be so lucky
to live this little life,
somewhere in the big universe
that allowed my existence
to coincide with others' lives,
so tonight I rest
my chemistry
and consider everything
but not anything.
Chrysalism
it was a hard winter,
made worse by nice weather.
when ill of health or emotion,
the sun taunts the heart,
especially when it is hot
in December.
now that the rain is here,
I am happy,
hunkering down
with television and time.
there should be a name
for the feeling of relief
when you crawl into bed
after a long day.
I wish it were cold,
so I could be warm.
Emoji of an Anatomical Heart 🫀
When she was in her high school emo phase,
I was in my college reggae phase,
yet here we are, talking about old malaise
from our respective golden days.
She wore a watch
and watched as I read
the book I found
at the NYC marathon.
Everyone has the heat on
in their cars here,
and I am always on
the sunnyside of the journey.
She reads in the passenger seat,
pretty, despite the cigs
and the inebriated eyes,
but it's been a long life.
She calls me a mix
of her middle school crushes:
Mark Walberg and Pauly Shore,
Mark Walberg and Pauly Shore,
which kinda tracks.
I feel a heartbeat in my feet
and a crush coming on,
but it's bad timing, baby,
because I am dying again.
It's Too Much
Is it Monday?
Is it still the weekend?
Where did the holidays go?
Are we still saying Happy New Year?
Where do the years go?
Is it Dry January?
Wet January?
Is 50 Cent in Venezuela?
No one knows.
Get me a coffee.
Happy Halloween.
A Quiet Awe
Meditating on time, memory, and the helpless beauty of letting go...
Instead of treating the past like a courtroom or a trophy case,
I treat it like water, something that flows through me,
shapes me, yet refuses to be held.
The ordinary sits beside the monumental,
and both are given the same weight,
because both are true.
I ain't chasing a clean ending or a neat moral,
just trying to make peace with the fact that everything I have loved,
ruined, survived, and celebrated keeps moving.
I am a fool of the first magnitude
when I feel the malady better
I discard the feeling
that I am dealing only in
habit or happenstance,
and like the foolish forest for the trees
I try to appreciate time
for its moments,
moments for their memories.
Burn the Morning Streets
For Christina
America sucks.
I suck.
But I am just a dumb dad.
and a poor poet.
What the hell can I do?
My world is small.
On purpose.
It revolves around.
My daughter.
My art.
My health.
That is it.
Yes.
We have huge needs.
Better education.
We have huge needs.
Better education.
Universal healthcare.
A president who isn't an evil idiot.
I would love to go burn the morning streets, but...
Unlike Greece.
It's just not realistic here.
In the suburbs of South Florida.
My small convenient corner.
Unless...
The majority.
Start marching.
Start burning.
Start demanding.
Start taxing billionaires.
Start paying teachers.
Stop stopping.
Until then...
I battle.
With my words.
With my love for my family.
Waiting to join the physical fight.
Which I hope is rising.
Hell is Not a Place
it is awareness
without self-deception,
and I am not looking forward
to facing all the people I've hurt.
Gremlin Eulogy
this is the stuff that makes me believe in God...
4 times today
different people
from different parts
of my life have
referenced the film Gremlins!
All different references, too!
One was about the Roald Dahl/Disney origin.
Another was about the Back to the Future backlot (which I knew).
My boss and buddy Jon Fox happened to have just watched it.
And then my neighbor Josh sent me a Gremlins GIF on Instagram.
like what are the freaking odds?
if a fifth person
references gremlins
to me today,
I don't know
what I will/should do!
...maybe I will play the lottery and beat cancer.
4 times today
different people
from different parts
of my life have
referenced the film Gremlins!
All different references, too!
One was about the Roald Dahl/Disney origin.
Another was about the Back to the Future backlot (which I knew).
My boss and buddy Jon Fox happened to have just watched it.
And then my neighbor Josh sent me a Gremlins GIF on Instagram.
like what are the freaking odds?
if a fifth person
references gremlins
to me today,
I don't know
what I will/should do!
...maybe I will play the lottery and beat cancer.
Cancer Part 2: This Time It's Personal
I'd like to see you battle cancer
for the second time
while being a dad,
working 3 jobs,
hosting podcast
writing a screenplay,
writing a kids book,
publishing a novel,
and trying to remain
annoyingly positive!
The devil wants to where my blue boots...
I draw a coyote on the postcard,
and send it to Danielle in Jersey.
I google the best burrito near me,
watch Die Hard,
and feel sorry for myself.
I touch my ears
and feel small;
Everything I do is to feel bigger than my little existence.
(The only place I am big
is within love.)
It will probably be a warm day in winter,
but I wanna feel badass and big again,
before the devil tries to steal my blue boots.
Ringing in the New Year
my ears are ringing,
my ass is bleeding,
my sister finally called,
and I didn’t know what the hell to yell.
still, the day keeps going,
the body keeps improvising,
and somehow I stay here,
unfinished, but upright.
my tea is too hot,
my bald head is too cold,
every minor comedy
feels like a referendum on my life.
live your death
like every philosophy
is a referendum on being
too much of a quotable poem.
consider yourself
woke up.
had some tea.
freaked out.
considered myself.
pray.
had some tea.
freaked out.
considered myself.
pray.
ask for forty more years.
go to Trader Joe's.
considered myself.
lo siento.
perdóname por el ruido.
por pedir tiempo sin saber usarlo.
por volver siempre a mà mismo.
cuando el mundo espera algo más.
me consideraba a mà mismo.
brush my teeth.
watch my hair fall out.
feel pain.
consider myself.
my health.
my future.
my past.
my now.
when I think of heaven.
consider me a blackbird.
when I think of hell.
consider me a rain king.
In/Out 2026
In:
- Dinner at 4:45pm (Dessert at 6pm)
- Keeping a physical calendar
- Gratitude
- Buying things in person
- Stretching
- Antioxidants
- Reading the books I have
Out:
- Cancer
- Buying things online
- Bullshit posturing
- The past
- Hair
- Thinking about death
Playlist 12/29/25
- I Wish I by Swapmeet
- Foreign Thoughts by There Will be Fireworks
- Eulogy by Home Front
- Better Git It In Your Soul by Charles Mingus
- Every Holiday by Mt. Joy
Can't wait to see Louisville pop up in my Google Analytics this week...
Is this our way of saying hi,
making sure we are still alive?
You checking my dumb blog
and me continuing to write
pining poems about you and youth.
Oh, to go back in time
and feel that first spark again!
It's a lovely little dance,
like those sensational salsa videos
I have seen on Facebook.
I am still alive,
but the cancer is back.
When this blog stops—
whenever that day comes—
that's how you'll know I'm gone.
Music and poetry live forever,
so we will, too.
And when I stop seeing Louisville
pop up in my Google Analytics,
I will sadly know you are no longer.
But something tells me
we will be doing this dance for many more years.
Sunset Harriet
Songs without sound.
Self worth.
Stoat predators.
The thumbnail moon scratches my back
like a cat
as I forget what I went to the store for
in the first place
The night was so wise
it made me dumb
Oh, Challah!
And a gift card for my daughter’s teacher.
It’s always
the busiest time of the year,
no matter the calendar…
but all your joys add up.
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